Which deceased loved ones come through during mediumship sessions?

How to prepare for a mediumship session

When consulting a medium (also known as a psychic medium), it is very common for clients to have one specific “longed for” deceased loved one that they want to connect with.  I’m pleased to say that during most mediumship sessions, this specific deceased loved one will come through. 

In order to increase the chance that he or she will come through, I always tell my clients to take a little time before the session to mentally invite that deceased person to be present during the reading.  Those on the other side repeatedly tell me that they appreciate the invitation, and they will do their best to comply.


Does this guarantee that a specific deceased loved one will come through during a reading?

Unfortunately, after spending many years doing mediumship sessions with thousands of people, I have learned that those on the other side of the veil may have other plans.  The “longed for” connection may not happen during this reading.

They have explained that there are many different reasons why a specific deceased loved one may not appear. Here are some of the more common explanations.


A different deceased loved one may need to come through first to “prepare the way”

The “longed for” person may come through later during that reading, but he or she may NOT be the first one to come through.

Especially if the person who is receiving a reading has never worked with a medium before, spirit may decide that a “special” deceased loved one will come first to “prepare” the client. This is often someone who played a very loving and nurturing role in the client’s life while they were alive. It will be someone the client trusts.

The appearance of this “special” deceased loved one:

  • Allows the client time to become comfortable with receiving a mediumship reading.
  • Helps the client learn how mediumship readings work.
  • Gives the client time to trust that what is happening is “real.”

Although there are no guarantees, at some point later in the reading, the “longed for” deceased loved one may come through.


A different deceased loved one needs to come through for an important reason

During a reading, the person’s guides may be aware that someone other than the “longed for” person needs to be given priority. This could be a different deceased loved one, but it could also be an angel or a guide.

When this happens, there is often a sense of “urgency” from the entity that wishes to communicate with the person. The reason for that urgency almost always becomes clear during the reading. It may be that the angel, guide, or deceased loved one has an important message that needs to be conveyed to the client or to someone who the client knows.

I personally know when this is the case because I will experience a pressured feeling from the entity. The entity can’t wait to connect with me. Often, this entity says that it has been waiting for an opportunity to speak to the client and can’t wait patiently in line for his or her turn. Once the message is conveyed, they may remain for a while or they may leave, but the feeling of urgency definitely leaves.


The “longed for” deceased loved one may need more time to heal

This occurs most often when the souls have lived a very difficult lifetime, struggled with a long and painful death process, and/or died in a very traumatic way (e.g., violence, accident, contributing to their own passing). In situations like this, the soul often needs time on the other side to heal.

What type of healing might be needed varies from situation to situation, but here are a couple of examples:

  • The soul’s life force energy may be so depleted that they don’t have the strength to communicate with the medium.
  • The soul may need assistance from their guides in order to understand what they experienced during this lifetime (e.g., difficult relationship issues, painful illness, contributing to their own passing).
  • If the soul wasn’t a “nice” person during this lifetime, they may need to receive help on the other side to understand various issues, such as:
    • What type of reactions they may receive from those they left behind.
    • Gain an understanding of the Karmic debt they may need to “pay back” and how to do that.

In summary, the “longed for” deceased loved one may not be ready to convey messages of love and healing to those who were left behind. It’s likely that they will be ready to communicate once they have had more time to heal.

NOTE: This is one of the reasons why some mediums require 2 or more months to have passed before allowing a client to sit for a reading. But for some souls, even 2 months isn’t long enough. We have to be patient with their healing process.


The deceased loved one may choose not to come through at that time

No matter how much the client wants to hear from someone from the other side, sometimes the “longed for” deceased loved one chooses not to come through during a specific reading.

Although frustrating to the client, spirit has conveyed that there are a variety of reasons why this might happen. Some of these include:

  • The “longed for” deceased loved one may have recently come through during another reading. Because of this, they step aside so that another deceased loved one has an opportunity to connect with the client.
  • They may have recently come through during another reading, and either the deceased loved one or the client’s guides are concerned that the client is spending too much time focusing on the person who is gone as opposed to living their life fully on the Earth plane. (NOTE: This is another reason mediums sometimes require 2 or more months to have passed before allowing a client to sit for a reading. They understand that those left behind need to go through a “normal” grieving process. If readings begin too soon, then the client can become dependent on readings to continue the connection with the deceased person.)
  • The deceased loved one may know that the client is too emotionally raw.  From their spiritual perspective, they can see that to connect at this time would be too overwhelming and cause major disruption in the person’s life.  Readings are meant to be healing experiences. They never want to make the person’s life more unmanageable.
  • Sometimes, the other side knows that the specific medium involved wouldn’t be able to convey their message accurately or in a compassionate manner. In this situation, they decide to wait for another opportunity.
  • The “longed for” deceased loved one may be busy. Yes, when we are on the other side, we live very full lives (e.g., responsibilities, learning new things, relationships with other souls, planning our next incarnation). I have been told on more than one occasion that the entity wished they could be there that day but they had other obligations.


Learning to trust the spirit knows best

As a medium, I wish I could bring through exactly who my clients want to hear from. However, I have learned to trust that Spirit always knows best who needs to come through during a reading with a specific medium.  They also know the best order in which deceased loved ones should appear.  The person’s guides are very wise and ALWAYS have the client’s best interest as their number one priority!  It’s all about learning to trust that Spirit really does know best!


Blog posts and information related to mediumship




Visit our Facebook page to receive Anne Reith’s daily inspirational quotes and announcements.

By Anne Reith, Ph.D.